A Widow's Steps to Recovery and Happiness

When Jeff was diagnosed with cancer, I started exploring ways for us to live a healthier lifestyle.  I knew that I needed to take steps to better care for myself so I could take care of him.  After he died, I only had myself to take care of so I tried my very best to continue the steps I began while he was sick.  Below are the steps that I incorporated into my life and have continued since his passing.

Step 1:

Eating more whole/organic food and consuming less processed food was the first step.  I always kind of knew that processed food was bad for the body, but once Jeff got sick, I learned all about how processed food and synthetic chemicals affected the body, which can then lead to diseases such as cancer over time.

The main change I made was what I ate for breakfast.  I used to eat a bagel with cream cheese or a pre-made yogurt smoothie with a ton of sugar or some kind of granola bar for breakfast, but then I started making mostly organic smoothies before work.  I was buying a new Nutribullet every couple of years because I really liked the single serving, super efficient little blender but my frozen smoothie ingredients every morning were just too much for the little guy so I finally ended up investing in a Vitamix last year.  The Vitamix is definitely a power house and I love it for my smoothies.  My usual morning smoothie consists of frozen blueberries, banana, apple, carrots, broccoli, spinach and kale mix, greek yogurt and collagen powder.  These are very convenient because everything is frozen except for the greek yogurt and collagen powder.  I just pull it all out of the freezer and add the yogurt and collagen powder and blend (less time than it took me to toast and smear a bagel).  I try to use organic produce for my smoothies most of the time.  They give me a bunch of vitamins and nutrients and usually keep me full until lunch and they are so much better than the processed stuff I used to eat for breakfast.  I feel lighter, am less tired, sleep better, and am more able to focus in the mornings.

Step 2:

The next thing I focused on besides a healthier diet was exercise.  I have always been slightly active but I started becoming more focused once Jeff was diagnosed because of the stress and health benefits of working out.  By the time Jeff was diagnosed, I had already given up lifting weights at the gym and sporadic jogging due to knee injuries (surgery on both knees back in high school).  I had been taking yoga classes on and off, but they were getting expensive and I was frustrated because I was having a hard time finding instructors I liked.  Then a friend recommended Pilates.  After my first Pilates class I was hooked.  My favorite Pilates studio is called Club Pilates.  It is the best combination of breathing and focus, which are the things I liked about yoga and also incorporates core and other strength exercises.  I am very committed to Pilates and try to go three to four times a week now.  I think Pilates has helped my emotional and physical state immensely.

Step 3:

The next step I focused on was my mental and emotional health.  I knew that I was having issues with anxiety and depression after Jeff was diagnosed but I waited until after he died to finally get professional help.  I devoured any and all literature on grief, including pamphlets, books, blogs and other reading materials.  I met with a grief group twice a month the first year after Jeff died.  I was referred to the group through the hospice program Jeff was in but I'm sure through research there are all different kinds of groups available depending on the city.  I also started individual therapy and went on an anti-anxiety and insomnia medication.  Group meetings, individual therapy, and medication definitely helped a lot those first few years.

I think medication for any issue should never be something that a person is ashamed of.  When my doctor suggested I start taking medicine, I knew it was something I needed to help me feel better.  I was on medication for a little over a year after Jeff died and then discussed options with my doctor about going off of medication.  We also talked about the signs to be aware of in case I needed to go back on my medication.  But my doctor also agreed that if I could manage without them and use more natural remedies, that she thought it was a good idea.  I also knew that I didn't want to be on an anti-anxiety and insomnia medication forever, so I started researching other more natural ways to combat both.

Step 4:

The most recent step I have added is the use of essential oils.  I had been researching the use of essential oils to help with stress, anxiety, and insomnia and started off with a basic diffuser and essential oils that I bought at TJMAXX.  I didn't know very much about essential oils and the difference between the quality of them but as I did further research, I realized that it was just as important to buy quality oils as it is to buy quality food.  A friend told me about Young Living about 3 years ago, but at that time I was just not willing to spend that much money on oils when I could get them at discounted retail stores for very little money.  I thought I could get the same results from less expensive oils, which I realized later were much lower in quality.  It's taken me years to move from the lesser quality oils and move into cleaner, higher quality oils and have recently started buying my oils from Young Living.  I also heard that doTERRA and Floracopeia are also high quality brands.

I'm not going to say that essential oils solved all of my issues.  What I am going to say is that they help me deal with them in a healthier way.  There are so many awesome oils to help with so many different issues.  The main oils I love are the ones that help me deal with stress, anxiety, and sleeping.

It is important to do your research before you begin using essential oils.  Some essential oils are very potent and if used incorrectly could be harmful.  This is why I decided to start buying essential oils from Young Living.  Because I buy from Young Living, there is a whole community of people that I can turn to for questions on practically anything to do with essential oils.  I have now gotten awesome and safe recipes for allergies, insomnia, bronchitis, common colds, feeling run down, and weight loss support so far.  I feel like incorporating essential oils is just another step in taking care of myself along with proper nutrition, exercise, and therapy.

If anyone is interested in signing up to be a part of my awesome essential oils community, feel free to check out the sign up page here.  You DO NOT by any means need to sign up or buy anything though.  You can click on the tabs at the top to learn all about Young Living and just explore or you could look into doTERRA and Floracopeia, which are also quality brands of oils.  I do suggest if you are planning to start using essential oils that you do your research and try to find the best quality oils for your budget and needs and how to safely incorporate them into your life.

Adding essential oils has been the most recent step that I've taken to care for myself.  Just like healthy eating, therapy, and exercise, quality essential oils may be pricey but what I've realized is that we all take care of so many other people, monetarily and emotionally, that I feel justified in spending time and money on myself. 

We all need to make sure that we take the time to figure out what steps we need in order to recover and find happiness again.  It has taken me almost five years to figure out what works for me.  During that time, I have tried many different things, some with more success than others.  These four steps have worked for me so far and I plan on continuing to look for more steps that will help me continue to be happy.