Girlfriends Are the New Husbands

Today is one month since Jeff died.  The last month has been a blur.  I don't know how I would survive without the love and support of the people around me.

Those around me at this time in my life are unbelievably helpful.  They help me continue to breathe every moment of every day.  I know I can count on them to be there at any time of the day or night and that brings me such comfort, such a feeling of safety in this chaotic, anxiety ridden time of my life.  I don't only have one person to turn to, I can legitimately say I have three specific people who would literally drop everything and anything going on in their own lives and come running to me for anything I need. 

One girlfriend knows all things cancer related because her father died from cancer seven years ago and she's also supporting her widowed mother so I'm able to turn to her when I want to talk about how much I hate cancer and she GETS it.

Another is even more of a control freak than I am and she is my organizer.  She made all of the appointments and arrangements for the mortuary, the service, the grief support groups and social worker/counseling appointments that I have attended.  She just tells me where and what time and what to sign.

The other one is for anything else I need support with.  She's ready in a heartbeat to just sit with me, workout with me, and definitely always ready to have a drink with me.  She has become ridiculously protective and is almost like a bodyguard.  She lets people know about my husbands passing when I can't stand to tell one more person that day, she tells people what kind of mood I'm in before I arrive so the others know to be happy if I'm having a good moment, or supportive if I'm struggling.

These three specific girlfriends help me continue to breathe.  They are filling pretty much every emotional gap that I've encountered and have allowed me the opportunity to continue breathing, which has provided me the sustenance to grieve in a healthy way.

Since there are three of them, I don't have to worry about them getting fatigued.  They are not experiencing fatigue because I am able to not put the burden on just one of them. I spread out my need and they all have different strengths that help me when I'm weak.  Girlfriends are the new husbands.