Rough Start to the Holidays

It's been a week since my Bogey died suddenly.  This has been a very hard week.

I have such a difficult time emotionally around the holidays.  Jeff went into the hospital right before finals week five years ago and then died December 29th.  It's been very difficult to celebrate Christmas without my mom these past two years.  And now my Bogey died.

I am trying my hardest to handle all of this grief the healthiest way I know how.  I wrote a previous post at the beginning of November detailing the steps I have taken to recover and be happy again and I found myself returning to that post to help me through this next round of grief.  These are the things I'm doing right now:

• I am continuing to go to Pilates regularly even though I am so tired and heavy with grief.  I know in the long run that exercise is helping me.
• I am attempting to eat as healthy as possible, even though the effort it takes to meal prep and cook is exhausting.
• I have an appointment scheduled this month to see my therapist.
• I have been using specific essential oils to help with my grief, specifically Young Living's Release and Joy oils.  
• I also have an appointment to have an emotional release procedure done using Young Living essential oils with the same person who helped me deal with my grief right after Jeff died, the loss of my in-laws, and right before my mom's celebration of life. 

I know that all of these things are helping me because they have helped me deal with my grief in the past, but it doesn't mean that grief gets any easier when you lose a loved one.  The struggle continues to be arduous and tough but I also know that I will come out the other end intact if I take care of myself.

I recently read this quote by Anne Frank, "Think of all the beauty still left around you and be happy."

This quote is a wonderful reminder to get out of your tunnel vision of grief and look around at what you have to be grateful for.  I know that when I practice finding three things I'm grateful for every day, it is a tremendous aid in bringing me out of the constant sadness.

I know through experience that taking care of myself and with enough time, the pain will be less sharp.  I need to stay the course and continue to do what is healthy and right for me to be able to get through the difficult holiday season with as much grace as possible and eventually recover.