Once Jeff died, I knew that I needed to create a living trust and will.
It has taken me three and a half years to finally contact a lawyer and get it done.
It's strange to sit in an office and decide who should get my properties, investments, and belongings when I die. When you're married, for most of us, it's simple...your spouse gets everything for the most part. I know there are those of us who are on their second or third marriages with children from previous relationships and of course they don't automatically give everything to their spouse but for me, I was only married once and have no children.
Now I need to decide who is going to get everything I've worked for and achieved my entire life, who is going to execute my wishes, who is responsible for making financial and health decisions for me in case I'm incapacitated, etc.
There are a lot of decisions to make.
When Jeff and I were married, it was simple. Jeff's name followed every one of those decisions. Before Jeff, my mom was the person I wanted to make all those decisions. Now that
my mom is in hospice, she is no longer an option either.
In four years, I went from having the two most important people to put down as decision makers and emergency contacts, and now I cannot use either one of them.
Three years ago this fact would have devastated me. Now, I realize that I am so much stronger and I can stand on my own without having the people I automatically fell back on.
This fact of losing Jeff and losing my mom soon also reminds me that I need to be grateful for those I do have in my life that I can depend on to make these decisions. It makes me sad that I needed to find new people, but it also reminds me that I need to be grateful that I have found these new people.
This all reminds me yet again that life is short, to surround myself with people who are meaningful, that I need to live every day to the best of my ability, and to try to have no regrets.
