Investment Opportunity

I met with my financial advisor last week.  I feel like meeting with her is similar to therapy.  Finances are a difficult thing to discuss.  It's hard to take a look at what I've spent this last year, how much (or little) I have saved, and trying to plan for the future.

She has been telling me for the last two years that I really need to invest in another property since  buying the right property is one of the best ways to ensure a comfortable retirement.  I feel there is a lot of risk involved in having only one income and being the sole person responsible for multiple mortgages.  But I know she is right.  Uncle Sam is eating up too much of my money and I need to make my money work for me.

We ended up compromising.  Instead of another property, we decided I could invest in land.  That way, I don't have to worry about renters and upkeep and all of that in the immediate future.  There is an up and coming area that is undeveloped and if I get in while the land is still cheap, I could one day either develop that land or parcel it off and sell it.

Now, I am scheduled to meet with a realtor this week to begin looking for land to invest in.  But I am having some anxiety over this.  Not only am I worried about choosing the wrong piece of land and it potentially being worth less later on, but I'm also feeling guilt over the idea that the only reason I am able to invest on my own like this is because my husband died and his life insurance money is paying for this investment.  I could either make the wrong decision and waste his life insurance money or make the right investment and prosper off of his life insurance money.  Either way, it's because he's dead.  None of that sits well with me.

The level headed side of me knows that I need to make this money work for me, that it's not my fault that Jeff died, that my life needs to go on.  But the emotional side of me balks at the idea of losing any of the money or potentially profiting from it.  The only reason I have this money is because my husband is dead.  It's just a lot to deal with.

I know I am in a good position and there are plenty of other widows out there whose husbands didn't have life insurance and they are screaming at this post for whining like I am.  But I would rather have my husband back then have this money.

I guess since I can't have my husband back, I need to just put my big girl panties on and buy land and I need to stop feeling sorry for myself when other widows are in a much worse situation.