My aunt asked me to research mortuaries for her since my uncle Jerry passed away last week. I remembered that the mortuary I went to for Jeff was reasonably priced and was very good when I went in (although, there is not much I remember from that day).
I called them and set up an appointment for my aunt for October 25th. When I called to tell her that she had her appointment set up she asked if I would go with her. At first I wanted to refuse. Jeff's birthday is October 24th, which was the day before the appointment and I didn't know how I was going to respond going back to the same place where I had Jeff cremated, especially the day after his birthday. But then I thought about how my in-laws came with me and there was no way I could have done it by myself so I put my big girl panties on and I agreed to go with her.
I recognized the parking lot and the front room and the room we conducted our business, but the rest had been wiped from my memory. None of the feelings I was afraid of came. It was like I had been there before but it wasn't traumatic or scary or sad. It just was. I don't know if I was numb then or if I'm numb now. All I know is that I am grateful that a massive anxiety attack didn't happen. I think Jeff and my uncle Jerry might have had a hand in my sense of peace and calm. It would be terrible to have two widows losing it in a mortuary!
I think it helped tremendously that Wyoming was in town as well. He came with my aunt and I and sat in the front room. Just knowing he was there probably also helped a great deal.
The interesting part was that the nice lady who helped us asked how we chose them and I told her that they had taken care of me when my husband died almost three years ago. She asked our name, I told her, and then she said that she thought my face looked familiar and then offered us a $300 discount for coming back and essentially being repeat customers. Those weren't her exact words, but it was something to that effect.
I kind of had to smile at that because both Jeff and my uncle Jerry know how I like a good discount!