Monday, April 22, 2019

Oh, April

April is the beginning of springtime.  Plants are blooming, birds are chirping, the gloom of winter is fading and I'm forced to remember a time years ago when I was my happiest and nobody had died yet.

The beginning of April can be a little rough on me, since April 8th is my wedding anniversary and April 11th is my mom's birthday.

My wedding to Jeff was everything I could have hoped for.  We had a destination wedding that I had no part in planning so there was very little pressure or stress.  Jeff's mom planned and paid for every detail so all we had to do was show up, do as we were told, and have fun with our friends.  Writing that makes me sound like a child even though I was 31 and he was 35, but because we didn't want to plan or pay for a wedding, his parents stepped in and took over.  My mom was still recovering from planning my sister's epic multi-day wedding so she was happy to allow Jeff's mom to plan our wedding.

It was glorious.  Everything turned out beautifully and all of the before and after wedding activities were a blast.  Friends and family all said how much fun our wedding was (I'm sure my mother-in-law and father-in-law might have been a little stressed out).

The best thing about it all was that Jeff and I were able to truly enjoy the experience and each other since we really weren't responsible for anything.  My wedding day was magical and wondrous.

We then celebrated my mom's birthday a few days after the wedding and then Jeff and I were able to go on our fantastic Caribbean honeymoon without having to clean up any mess or deal with any extra bills.

Now, I sit back and reminisce about that wonderful time in my life.  Mostly everyone I loved and cared about, who was important to me at the time, was there at that specific moment to celebrate with me.  Everyone was in good health and nobody was sick.  Jeff and I were happy and healthy.  My mom was alive and well.

I truly was lucky.

I still am lucky.

I'm lucky because I was able to have that opportunity with Jeff and my mom who are no longer with me now.  I was able to experience the love from people I cared about.  Some people never get to have something like that so I am grateful for those experiences as well as the people I loved and who loved me.

Even though I get sad and nostalgic at the beginning of April, it reminds me that I need to remember how lucky I was and still am to have had someone like Jeff love me and to have had the best mother anyone could ask for.  It allows me to be grateful for all those people I still have in my life who love and care about me as well.

April and spring are the opportunities for new beginnings and I need to remember to embrace every moment and not focus on what I did have but what I still am able to have an opportunity to gain.

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