Boy do I have a knack for ruining people's day! Here's how it usually goes with a stranger/minor acquaintance:
Stranger/acquaintance: What's with the ring on your necklace/memory sticker on your car/so I see that you're married cause you're wearing a ring, so where's your husband/what does your husband do for a living?
Me: My husband is dead.
Stranger/acquaintance: Oh (usually followed by awkward pause) I'm sorry. Then usually followed by how/when did he die?
Me: December 29, 2013. He had cancer.
Stranger/acquaintance: (pause to think how much time has passed, then shocking realization of how soon it was) Oh, wow...that was pretty recently.
Me: Yes it was.
The conversation then goes a couple different was from there but usually their day is pretty much ruined. Some comment on how strong I am since I haven't been reduced to a puddle in front of them, others just turn around and walk away with a far off, slightly traumatized look on their face.
Then I usually tell/text one of my real friends and say, "man, I really know how to ruin someone's day."
I really do have a mean streak. I could try to break it to people a little less bluntly but I think in my head, F it! I know this person is trying to be polite and make small talk but my days are ruined constantly. Why beat around the bush? Shit happens. You asked me a question, I gave you an answer, why should I feel guilty about a truthful answer. People say stupid things to widows and make them feel uncomfortable all the time, why can't widows say things that make others uncomfortable back? Why do we have to be the ones to comfort or protect others?
I wonder if I'm in the anger stage of denial? I can't wait for someone to ask me that question!
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