Every human being has good days and bad days. New widows tend to have more good or bad moments rather than whole days. There are moments where I catch myself truly smiling and singing along to the radio in the car, perfectly content. I relish those moments. But then there's the guilt that follows.
Some widows I've talked with discussed the guilt that is associated with having a good moment and being truly happy. I'm trying very hard not to feel guilty when I am having a good moment. Jeff would not want me to feel guilty. Jeff would not want me to feel sad. Jeff would want me to be happy. I know all of these as facts but sometimes the guilt and emotion of him not being here anymore outweighs the logic. When the guilty feeling starts to overtake the good moment, I try to remember that my husband truly loved me and only wanted me to be happy. He especially never wanted me to be in any pain that was caused by him. It would make him feel terrible.
When I'm having a good moment, I'm trying to remember that good moments should not include guilt.
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