A Break from Thanksgiving Tradition

The holiday season is upon us again.  Another year of holidays without Jeff and Mom but this year we are going to have our first break from our traditional Thanksgiving.

I wrote a post a couple of years back about how I had to organize Thanksgiving for the first time.  You can read it here.  That was the beginning of a new tradition since my mom couldn't organize it anymore.  Last year, my aunt hosted Thanksgiving.   This year, the majority of the family will not be in town for Thanksgiving.  My sister will be going to her husband's family, my aunt who hosted last year will be out in Arizona, and other family will be in Atlanta.

Now family being out of town for Thanksgiving isn't a big deal.  Thanksgiving's are very hit and miss for us.  Some years we have had almost 30 people for Thanksgiving and other years we've only had 5 people.  But this year, since a lot of family will be out of town, my dad suggested we just go to a restaurant for Thanksgiving instead of hosting.

If my mom was still here, there is no way we would ever have Thanksgiving at a restaurant.  She would host it for however many people were available to come.  No matter how many or how few, as long as we were in town, we always had a home cooked Thanksgiving meal at a family member's home.

I have been struggling with this break from tradition.  I know that things change over time but the idea of eating Thanksgiving in a restaurant in my own hometown kind of messes with me.

But I also know that I will be organizing Christmas again this year and we usually have about 30 people for Christmas.  In 2016, I organized both Thanksgiving and Christmas and it was just too much for me.  I'm struggling between continuing a tradition and doing what is best for me physically, emotionally, and mentally during the holiday season, especially because Jeff started whole brain radiation around Thanksgiving and he died December 29th.  With a lot of responsibility and also being a bit of an emotional mess around the holidays, I've learned that I need to take care of myself.

At some point I need to let go of the traditions that shaped my childhood and early adult years.  At some point I need to embrace change, especially since both Mom and Jeff are now gone.  Maybe it's time to start new traditions?  Or maybe just not focus on traditions at all?