Wyoming and My Dog.

Now that Wyoming is officially here, there have been a few bumps in the road with both of us adjusting to living together, but the biggest bump so far is regarding my dog.   I rescued my terrier poodle mix the same year that Jeff and I were married.  Jeff wasn't happy about me adopting this little sixteen pound disaster of a dog but he insisted that because I got to choose her, he got to name her so I knew he was invested.

When I finally brought her home he thought she was dirty and ugly and told me to take her back.  But after we had her groomed and he got to know her, he absolutely fell head over heels in love with her.  She was his best buddy.  Sometimes I even got a little jealous of the two of them.

He told me after he was diagnosed that he wanted her ashes to be with his.  I joked with him that he didn't care where I went as long as he had the dog.  She was his constant companion the fourteen months he was going through radiation and chemotherapy after he was diagnosed.  She slept on his bed or under his bed when he finally came home from the hospital and was right there when he took his last breath.

I am obviously very attached to her and sometimes do not discipline her the way I should.

She is not good with small children and has bit and snapped at my nieces.  She is definitely not perfect but she is mine and I love her with all of my heart.  She is the last remaining thing I have of Jeff since I no longer speak to anyone in his family.

Since Wyoming has moved to town, he doesn't agree with how I treat my dog.  He thinks she needs more discipline and his idea of how to treat a dog is completely different than mine.  My dog spends all of her time inside when I'm home.  She's only outside when I'm not at home.  Wyoming is used to dogs being outside all of the time and definitely not on the furniture or bed.  He raised two pit bulls so he's used to bigger, tougher dogs.

He is rougher with my dog than I'm used to and she is so much smaller than his other two dogs that even when he's not disciplining her, just the way he plays and pets her is rough and she cries out because she's scared of him, which makes him angry, he thinks she's a big wuss.  I don't think he means to hurt her, because he has taught her tricks and is constantly giving her snacks and they even take naps together and they go for walks together when I'm at work, but he is much harder on her when she does something wrong than I would be.  I feel like he is at two extremes, he gives her too many snacks and feeds her from the table, which I don't allow.  I think she should only eat dog food not so much human food.  But he's also harder on her when he feels she needs to be disciplined when I don't think she needs to be disciplined that much or to that extreme.

It's definitely been a big struggle.  I know I'm overly attached and over protective of her, but she's my baby and there is definitely a "Jeff trigger" when it comes to my dog.

I have been going to therapy and trying to find a compromise.  Hopefully, Wyoming and I can come to an agreement about my dog and how she should be treated.  I don't want to lose him over my dog, but I also need my dog to not be anxious, which then helps with my own anxiety.  She is very important to me and she is the last remaining piece of Jeff I feel I have left.