Ten Months

Jeff has been gone 10 months today.  I am living alone for the first time in my life.

The transition to living alone has actually been relatively peaceful.  I had more anxiety about living alone before I lived alone.  Now that I do live alone, it's really not so bad.  I am getting used to doing everything by myself.  Of course the first few days of living alone my porch light shorted out and my garbage disposal broke.  But I got through it and figured out how to get it all fixed.

Jeff was never much of a handyman so it's not like he could have fixed the porch light or the garbage disposal anyway.  I was always the one to figure out ways to take care of the issues around the house when he was still alive.  But there is just something about having a partner to not only suffer through life's difficulties with, but also celebrate life's triumphs.

I try and always remember that even though I am without him, I am not alone.  I have so many great friends and family and Jeff is still always with me.

I really feel that Jeff has been with me, helping me transition and relieving my anxiety.  I know I will have bad days, but right now I'm just grateful that these first couple transitional weeks have been ok, I am ok.