Really?

We all know that there is stress and tension after a loved one dies.  We all know that every person grieves differently.  We all know that those close to the person who died suffer terribly.  But I don't understand why we have to add more suffering to each other's lives.

We have a family tradition on Halloween.  Every year for the past 6 years, we have always gone to my sister's house for Halloween.  My sister's husband makes his famous chili verde and we all sit around and help pass out candy, laugh and exclaim over all of the costumes, and just spend time together.

Now that my sister has two-and-a-half year old twin girls, it's gotten even more fun.  Jeff's parents have since participated in this tradition and they had an awesome time last year after they moved from Texas to be with Jeff after he was diagnosed. 

Since Jeff's mom watches my sister's twins three days a week, our families got even closer.  They came to my sister's house for Thanksgiving and my parent's house for Christmas Eve, and we have had lots of family BBQ's.

But things have changed dramatically these last few months.

This year, my sister invited Jeff's parents over for Halloween for the usual chili verde and passing out candy and of course to see my adorable nieces in their costumes.  Jeff's mom's response to her was that they would not come because they did not want to be around me, they were just too uncomfortable around me because of the whole "Roommate Situation."

Really?  How am I supposed to feel about that?

I guess I shouldn't be surprised.  They haven't spoken to me since the whole "roommate situation" went down. 

I just don't understand how they can feel the way they feel.  I took care of their first born son, literally until his last breath. 

I took in their other son and helped him for 7 months and because I recognized that it was not healthy for me and told him he had 5 more months to live with me and HE chose to go back to Texas immediately, I have become public enemy #1?

Really?

I know I need to be sympathetic to my in-laws who are grieving and suffering terribly.  I know that they may have a different perspective and outlook.  I know there are always multiple sides to every story.  But I just do not know how to not be hurt by their actions and words.