Thursday, November 13, 2014

Loss and Rebirth

I read an interesting article by Jordan Gray called Shame: Learning to Love After a Devastating Breakup that had a particular quote that stood out for me:

"The loss of the people you love is inevitable. At some point in your life, every relationship you have is going to end. But that’s the beautiful thing about human interaction and emotional intimacy. You can either resent the temporary nature of the world, or you can embrace the full spectrum of the emotions that you are fortunate enough to be able to feel and cherish everyone in your life as they are today."

Another article I read by Jill Gross called How Painful Relationships Can Be The Best Teachers also had a quote that particularly stood out for me:

"So, if you are in the shadowy aftermath of loss and it feels as if you are dying, perhaps you are really in the process of being reborn. It is your own inner wisdom that has led you to where you are, so trust it."

I would never say my relationship with Jeff was painful but my relationship with his family has been especially painful these last few months.

I know the articles deal with break ups and not death but they still relate to the widowed.  Whether you "lose" a person through a break up or through death, the fact is still the same, you lost someone you love.  Unfortunately, for most of us, the losing doesn't stop with just one person.  I am now experiencing the loss of his whole family, who before, were my number one supporters.

A loss is a loss, whether the person is gone from the Earth or just gone from your life, they are still gone.  I am experiencing  the grief of multiple losses, not only my husband, but his family as well.

So in the aftermath of a loss, no matter what that loss entails, I know I feel like I am dying.  I guess the pain that I am experiencing in trying to create a new normal is similar to a rebirth.

So hang in there everyone who has experienced a loss.  Remember that you can embrace the temporary nature of the world because it proves that you are fortunate enough to be able to feel and cherish those you love, whether they are in your life today or not.

The pain you are experiencing is hopefully you being reborn, at least, that is what I keep telling myself.

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